bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize