dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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