Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
