you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
