so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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