On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize