Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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