How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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