piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize