If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
