Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
