PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
