I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize