Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
