you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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