He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
