I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
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have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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