he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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