i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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