I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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