how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
