I want to make a zoo with you.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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