After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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