apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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