Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
