she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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