Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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