just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
