...so i touched it.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
