I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
