Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
