i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
