If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
