You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
this hospital has no fireball
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