i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Randomize
