i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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