NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize