he wants to bone in the snuggie
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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