Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
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only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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