Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
