Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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