This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
