You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
