And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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