Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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