Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
