I'm jealous of your bromance
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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