I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
