Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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