How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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