Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
