there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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