You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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