jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
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after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
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Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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