Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She needs sedatives and a leash
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
