I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
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While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
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The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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