yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
