I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So vagazzling was a success
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
