I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
