I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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