I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
