you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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