It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
two words...techno handjob
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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